A Time To Honor, Educate, and Love.

As violence against the Transgender community is at an all time high, it’s more important now then ever to love one another for who we are.

This year, Transgender Awareness Week takes place Nov. 13 through 19. The week culminates with Transgender Day of Remembrance, a deeply important observance to honor the memory of those whose lives have been lost to anti-trans violence, on Wednesday, Nov. 20, 2019.

Transgender Awareness Week serves as both a reflective and celebratory time to raise the visibility of transgender and gender non-conforming people, and to shed light on issues our community faces.

Observance to honor those who have lost their lives or experienced violence because of their gender identity or gender expression. We honor those who continue to experience violence and recommit to changing hearts and minds in order that all people are free from discrimination, hatred, and violence including transgender people.

Transgender Day of Remembrance is set aside to memorialize those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred, prejudice, and violence. Transgender Day of Remembrance serves to raise public awareness of hate crimes against transgender people, as well as to publicly mourn and honor the lives of our community members who might otherwise be forgotten.

Societies that forced many of them into working in occupations and participating in activities that society has deemed illegal in order to survive. So many died in a way that confirms society’s uncaring attitude: shot multiple times, stabbed, mutilated, burned, drowned, left to bleed to death, and ultimately dumped like trash, the ultimate and unfortunate metaphor of a society that considers trans people, especially those on the trans feminine spectrum, to be nothing but trash.

Who knows how many trans people have truly been killed? I’m sure so many crimes haven’t even been reported and who knows the exact number of how many trans people have committed suicide thanks to suffering these injustices?

These injustices persist because of the images of trans people that pervade the media. Jokes and slurs are made with the typical jokes about “tranny hookers” and “spotting the tranny.” These jokes and images are conflicting by if a trans person does not blend in to society’s satisfaction, they will be treated like trash and maybe given a death sentence just walking down the street.

During this time, lets stand TOGETHER! The transgender community and its allies, in sadness for the too many that have died (Do not forget for they are all somebody’s child), and in hope, that the future for our young generation will bring with it greater compassion, understanding and acceptance.

We are NO different from you! We deserve to be here just as much as you do!

Angelique Munro Miss Trans USA Indiana 2020

Trans Day of Remembrance

Not all challenges people in the transgender community face are the same but they can be similar, especially the threat of violence.

Looking back on my journey of 54 years, I can see that I was seeing the world through some very privileged eyes. What I thought were dangerous situations then pale in comparison to things now. But, even now, my situation is not filled with the same challenges as others who may be similar but not the same.

Meghan Buell founder of T.R.E.E.S. Photo C Grost Photography and Facebook

Of what do I speak? I speak of staying alive. As an out and proud white woman, I face challenges, barriers and threats. These come in the form of words, glares and online comments. Rarely, do I face physical violence. I am grateful for this. I am grateful I do not have to literally fight for my existence. Don’t get me wrong. I am fighting. I use education and the platform of my organization, TREES, Inc., to advocate, educate and communicate on behalf of my transgender community. What I don’t have to do is physically fight be be seen. This is not the case for many within the trans community.

Why is my experience different? In short, it is because I am a white, middle class raised, educated person. These characteristics have gotten me to place of relative safety. Those without some or all of these same characteristics face different and, in my view, more harrowing barriers to their authentic existence. Before you pounce, I am not saying that folks with the same characteristics don’t feel the pain of carving out their space in this world. They do. But through my watching, listening and reading I can see there is a difference. There are centuries of cultural difference that make the experience different. There are geographical differences. There are familial differences. This is where a pathway for each of us is unique, yet, not that different. For instance, my “coming out” did not include telling a spouse, my own children, a community of faith, grandparents, or my mother. On a grand scale of things, I had a less daunting road to travel. Could it have been harder? By all means, yes. Was it easy? No. I lost a lot. I lost a job, my house and all of my financial security. But, at no time, even though others were concerned, did I ever think I would lose my life. This is not the case for so many in the trans community. For many, the potential for violence exists. For trans women of color, the threat is real. IT IS HAPPENING AS I WRITE THIS BLOG.

On November 20th of each year, the transgender community, its allies and supporters all of the world remember those for whom the threat became real. This day is known at Transgender Day of Remembrance. It is a day to remember those who have lost their lives at the hand of another and those we have lost to suicide. It is a time for introspection. It is a time to reflect. It is a time for thought. It is also a time for action. Please consider attending a vigil near you and, perhaps, you will find a call to action to save a transgender life going forward. There are many in need of your help.

On Wednesday November 20th at 6:30 EST join Meghan Buell at the Transgender Day of Remembrance at Zion United Church Of Christ 211 S. Saint Peter Street South Bend, IN 46617

In Michigan City please join PFLAG Michigan City at the Lubeznik Center for the Arts, 101 W. 2nd St. Michigan City, IN 46360 starting at 6pm CST 

Anniversary

Let’s talk about time. More specifically, anniversaries. January 20th is one of my anniversaries. However, prior to this date becoming significant for me, it was just a date on the calendar. But, now this date holds as much, if not more significance as any other date on the calendar. See, on January 20, 2009, I became complete. It was the date of my gender confirming surgery. This past weekend I celebrated my 10 year anniversary of this date.

To think that I am 10 years past my surgery date is a bit surreal for me. I am still processing what this means in the big picture of the overall journey. To be honest, thinking that I could be 10 years beyond an event that I had for a long time given 0% chance of ever happening may be what I am having trouble processing. My journey had a lot of ups and downs but it really wasn’t until the 41st or 42nd year that the idea of having surgery became possible. For the longest time it was just this idea that was fleeting as I considered all that I would have to sacrifice in order to get that. It was always the piece of fruit so high up on the tree that it was unimaginable to think I could reach it. But, I Did!

As I’m writing this I can’t help but think of those in my circumstance who are still seeing the piece of fruit as too high up, too far away to be reachable. I’m here to tell you that it may seem that way now but don’t ever give up on it. Don’t lose focus on it. Wait for that moment when the pathway up those branches becomes clear and then climb. Do so because that piece of fruit for me has been more satisfying as any other piece of fruit I’ve ever tasted. It is worth the wait.

10 years, I welcome you as an anniversary. I look forward to 11 and 12 and all of the others that will follow. January 20th is not just a day on the calendar for me. What will become your date? Peace.

Don’t Read a Book By Its Cover

I grew up in a small Midwestern town. I had a pretty standard childhood growing up in a family where my dad was an educator, my mom a homemaker and having to share a single bathroom with 2 brothers and sisters. On the outside it would appear that all was well. However, this was far from the truth.

How a person chooses to live their life is just that, living a life. It may, or may not, match how they feel about themselves inside. I’m not talking about whether they secretly dream of being a movie star but work in a corporate office. I’m talking about their internal sense of identity. This was my existence. What people saw on the outside wasn’t what was on the inside. What am I talking about?

A person’s internal sense of gender is known as their gender identity. Every human being has this. For a great majority their gender identity matches their physical body. The term for this is cisgender. Having your internal sense of gender match your physical characteristics causes no strife or emotional reaction. But for other their gender identity doesn’t match their physical body. This is the most common condition for transgender or gender nonbinary identifying people. There is a disconnect which causes varying levels of discomfort. This is the actual struggle that most trans/nonbinary face on a daily basis.

So what does this all mean? For me this meant living a life for 30+ years that fit more into the expectations of my surroundings such as family, friends, community and work. It meant suppressing feelings and aspects of my identity in order to not exist on the periphery of society. It meant carrying a heaping load of guilt and secrets with me everywhere I went. I always thought I could run away from this thing. No matter how fast or how far I went it never was enough to make the separation. So, one day, I stopped and finally faced it head on. It was the day when I first heard the term transgender and said “ok, whatcha got for me?” It was at this point that my life changed. It was the day I stood up and said “I am transgender hear me roar”.

The moral of the story is that people are always striving to create a place where they feel they fit in so give them a chance and a place to be themselves.