Creater of Iconic PRIDE Flag Dead at 65

Gilbert Baker

Gay right activist and creater of the Gay Pride flag Gilbert Baker has died today at age 65 in New York.

Baker created what would become the iconic symbol that has become  synonymous with the gay rights movement around the world for gay PRIDE in 1978.

Fellow gay right activst Cleve Jones confirmed Baker’s death today via Twitter, “My dearest friend in the world is gone. Gilbert Baker gave the world the Rainbow Flag; he gave me forty years of love and friendship.”

Don’t be Afraid of Who You Are

Kane Fletcher, photo courtesy of Facebook

My name is Kane, and this is my blog.

I’m 27 years old trans man and I have been transitioning for almost three years now. Transitioning is a process. It’s a process to get your body to become who you know you are and how you envision yourself in your mind, mentally I transitioned years ago.

I have been on testosterone for three years. The anniversary of the day I started hormones I call my “maniversary.” For me testosterone is the second part of the process. Three years prior to starting hormone therapy I had been binding and living my life as close to male as I could. On April 19th 2017 I will have top surgery. Taking these steps in becoming the man I know I am is the right choice for me, but it might not be the right choice for everyone.

Just because you don’t take the hormone therapy doesn’t mean that you aren’t transgender. You still are. Some people can’t take it and others don’t need it. Sometimes it’s not safe for transgendered people to take hormones or even live as the gender that they identify with. It’s not safe because they are living in a place that if they embraced who they really a they could be in very real physical danger kicked out of their home or even killed.

Just like there are no two people alike, there are no two transgender people alike and some choices might work for some people and others not so much. Some transgender people are happy with their voices and the way that they look. Some people opt not to get surgeries. Yet, these people are still transgender and “We See You.”

In the next few weeks I start the next stage of my journey. I have so many mixed emotions, from excitement or nervousness yet the one constant emotion is that I’m overjoyed. It’s a new chapter in my life and I can’t wait to take the next step. My family and friends will be taking this journey with me and I hope you will too. I will be blogging about my experiences of being a trans man in the Midwest and things that have happened to me in my life.

If you or someone you love is trans and you have questions need support or just want to say hi you can reach me at kane@outinmichigancity.com

Kane Fletcher can be seen performing with his group “Welcome to the Other Side,” Saturday, April 15, 2017, at Shenanigans Pub & Eatery located at 6121 US 20, Portage, IN 46368.

We See You

Meghan Buell, Photo Courtesy of Facebook

In May of 2016, then US Attorney General, Loretta Lynch, uttered these words during a speech, “…let me speak directly to the transgender community itself…we see you…”. These words brought me to tears then and I just pulled a tissue from my bag now. Why would these three simple words aligned side-by-side-by-side mean so much?

For almost 2/3 of my life I lived an invisible life. I had something that I was unwilling to let anyone see. Granted, for most of that time I didn’t even have a word to describe it but, nevertheless, I hid my uniqueness. The burden of living with a secret is heavy. It can consume a person and alter one’s reality. I did an excellent job of hiding my secret from everyone. I had perfected the covert operation to such a level that maybe a job with the NSA or FBI might have been successful. However, the burden usually always wins out, at least in my experience it does. And, for me, it did.

In 1998, I came out for the first time. It was a terrifying yet exhilarating experience. It was the first time I was visible to another. It was the first time I felt vulnerable. It was the first time I was uncloaked. I was naked, emotionally speaking. This is a common place to be in for transgender folks like me. We have to take this leap of faith in order for others to see us. It is an important first step toward our future.

On March 31 of each year, the transgender community stands and is visible. This is the International Transgender Day of Visibility. For me, everyday is my day of visibility. I live an out and proud life as a transgender woman. For many transgender people this is not the case. I am visible everyday for them. I want them to know that every effort by some to keep us invisible through “bathroom bills” and anti-trans legislation will not erase my existence. It will not erase their existence. I will not let that happen. Because I see you. WE SEE YOU.

Does HIV Make Me Undateable, Part II

Gay men living with HIV is what are we talking about.

Over the years since coming out as HIV positive, friends have asked me if my status makes me ‘undateable.’ The answer is “no,” I’m just as datable and I have just as much to offer in a relationship as anyone else. However, it there are several points that need to be addressed when dating someone who is HIV positive. 

While it’s been said, “There are plenty of fish in the sea,” and while I do believe there is someone for everyone, it seems that most men not all but most who are themselves HIV negative will not date a guy who is HIV positive. This can be difficult if you’re POZ because everyone wants to be loved and valued. There are a wide range of men in the world and there are men who do put the stigma of HIV aside and look past the word positive. The key is keeping informed and keeping communication open. Isn’t that the key for all successful relationships anyway?

The terms Neg and Poz have become the new normal in the vocabulary of our community. Sometimes that’s the first thing one asks when meeting. It’s now standard on every profile in every hook up app from Grindr to Adam4adam to BBRT.  You can find it somewhere towards the middle of a guys profile just after ‘position’ but before relationship status. Yet there is another label which we should start using as much as “top,” “Bottom,” or “Poz,” and “Neg.” That label is Undetectable or U=U (Undetectable=Un-transmittable). Undetectable and un-transmittable is when a person living with HIV has an undetectable viral load. An undetectable viral load is typically under 40 copies of HIV per milliliter of blood depending on the diagnostic tests.

The Prevention Access Campaign https://www.preventionaccess.org started U=U or #UequalsU to fight the stigma of being HIV Positive.
 
According to the Prevention Access Campaign’s web-site: “Collaborated with leading researchers to help people living with HIV who are on treatment and who have undetectable viral loads answer a fundamental question: ‘Am I at risk to my partner?’ The answer is NO. You can feel confident that if you have an undetectable viral load* and you take your medications properly, you cannot pass on HIV to your sexual partners.” 

Let’s start using U=U in our online profiles, lets start making HIV positive men feel welcome back in the ‘dating scene.’ Let’s end the stigma. 

As always it’s about choices. Some still choose to practice “Safer Sex.” You will always want to take care of yourself and your sex partner or partners. Safer sex could be the universal protection of wearing a condom or being on PrEP-Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis. Having sex with someone who is undetectable can mean a zero to little negligible risk, as long as they are under the care of a doctor and as long as you and your partner are honest with each other. 

There is a lot more to the story than just Negative or Positive. Inform others, start the conversation and share your story. Be part of the HIV Positive Proud community that live with a chronic health condition everyday. Get support from the people you love, whether is your biological family or your chosen family and remember the only way that you are undatable is if you let yourself become undatable and last but not least always keep a positive perspective. 

*An undetectable viral load is typically under 40 copies/ml depending on the diagnostic tests. However, studies show a person living with HIV on antiretroviral therapy (ART) with a viral load under 200 copies/ml also cannot sexually transmit HIV. This is called being “virally suppressed.”

Lecture on Same Sex Attraction at Local Restaurant Causes Controversy

Rev. Kevin R. Huber, D. Min. Pastor, Queen of All Saints Catholic Parish Source Facebook

Controversy erupted  in Michigan City over the weekend when meme calling for the boycotting of a local pizzeria started circulating on social media. The meme accused the restaurant of hosting a “hate group” and pictured a pamphlet that was for sale called Why Homosexual Unions Are Not Marriages and Scripture, Mercy, Homosexuality. This upset many in Michigan City’s LGBT Community and their allies. The meme does not say which “hate group” had been meeting at the restaurant.

After further investigation by The Beacon it was reveled that the restaurant in question was hosting a lecture series called Tapped In formerly called Theology on Tap by Father Kevin Huber of Queen of All Saints Catholic Church. The lecture series is for members of Father Huber’s congregation and other people of faith from La Porte County and Northwest Indiana. The series is for adults 21 and over and covers the Church’s stance on several topics including ones that can be considered controversial. The topic on March 8, 2017, was on the Church and the subject of same sex attraction. The lecture is part of a series of lectures that encompasses a different subject every week and sometimes features a different speaker. When asked why the attendees would choose to meet in a local restaurant instead of the church community room, Father Huber said the answer was simple. “We wanted to reach out to the community instead of the community coming here to the church.” Father Huber also indicated that some of the people in attendance also wanted to enjoy an ‘adult beverage’ with their dinner, something that is not possible in the church community room.

Father Huber was asked to comment on the controversy surrounding the meeting. He indicated the entire situation had been taken out of ‘context.’ “People should understand the real purpose of the meeting, was to address the issue of same sex attraction and the Catholic Church. It was not meant to be exclusive but inclusive and it was not my intention to cause any ill will between the Catholic Church and the LGBT Community.”  Father Huber issued a “sincere apology if anyone was offended.” When asked about the pamphlets and if he understood how seeing a booklet called Why Homosexual Unions are not Marriages might upset some people the LGBT Community. Father Huber said he understood why people would be upset, and that the Catholic Church did not provide the pamphlets in question and he had no knowledge that the booklets were even there until after the fact. Father Huber said that the booklets were provided by Queen of Angels Book and Gift Store, located at 1609 E. Coolspring Ave. in Michigan City. The bookstore had no prior authorization to sell their pamphlets at the meeting.

Picture depicting the Pamphlets ‘Why Homosexual Unions are Not Marriages’ and ‘Scripture, Mercy, Homosexuality.

The Beacon reached out for comment from Queen of Angels Book & Gift Store and spoke with Tony Balsamo. Mr. Balsamo stated that he had no prior authorization from the Catholic Church to sell his booklets at the meeting and in fact only sold one such booklet.

Father Huber expressed concern that the restaurant in question might be boycotted and suffer dramatic blow back. He does not want to see a local business or it’s employees suffer because of a misunderstanding. Video of Father Huber’s lecture can been seen on You Tube by clicking the following link: Tapped In Queen of All Saints. Father Huber wishes everyone in the community to know that in no way was this a meeting of a ‘hate group’ and that he and Queen of All Saints Church is here for everyone in the community including those who identify as LGBT.

 

 

 

 

Cooking in the Crock Pot of Life & Love Letters from Tampa

Hello everyone, in this weeks column we have some lighthearted  questions, some kind of serious questions, and one question that was so  disturbing I had to take a shower after I read it and swear to myself never to attend another dinner party. Honeys, I’ve been around the block a time or two and have seen some shit, but its like the old saying goes, “You think you’ve seen everything then someone comes along and starts cooking with sperm.” But, more on that question later on in my column. Today we start with a heart felt letter about relationships from of all places Tampa, Florida. Enjoy!

America’s Sweetheart Wilma Fingerdo

And remember I’m here for everyone, it doesn’t matter if you are gay, straight, lesbian, trans or a soccer mom, if you have a question and you think I can help e-mail me at wilma@outinmichigancity.com.

Dear Wilma,

Several years ago I left my home in Michigan City and moved to Florida. In that time I managed to make a friend, ‘Eric’ probably the best friend that I have in Tampa. We have everything in common from the kinds of music and movies that we like to the nights we go out to ‘cut loose,’ you might say that I’ve met my ‘partner in crime.’ We’ve been asked by several people who know us why we haven’t hooked up or taken our relationship to that next level. The truth is we couldn’t be less sexually attracted to each other. We are fine just being friends. A few weeks ago I met ‘Josh,’ and we went out a few times and I of course slept with him. After a conversation with Eric he realized that he had been on two dates with Josh and liked him very much, but the relationship did not go anywhere. Eric made his feelings quite clear to me how he felt about Josh and told me if I continue to date him that we can no longer be friends.

The reality is my track record for relationships since I’ve moved here has been sketchy at best. I fall for a guy, but then a few weeks later I always figure out that there is something that I do not like about him. It can either be that he is too clingy, that I think his nose is to big, that he doesn’t like or know who Morrissey is, or he has a kid from when he thought he was straight. Somehow my relationships always seem to have a shelf life, yet I’ve been dating Josh is secret for the last two weeks. My questions is this, should I take a chance on love knowing that I might find something superficial about Josh that would tempt me to no longer date him, or should I continue to date him and jeopardize my friendship with Eric, keeping in mind that I still might break up with Josh?

Sincerely,

Tempted in Tampa

Dear Tempted,

I’m a firm believer in “Bros before Hoes”, but not in this instance…

I think that Eric is being a tremendous twat for trying to make you choose between your potential relationship and his friendship. Eric doesn’t even know if Josh likes him.

You should enjoy your time with Josh, and set Eric at the curb with the rest of the trash.

XOXO

Dear Wilma,
I was wondering, is there any truth to the old gay adage, ‘two bottoms don’t make a top?’
Regards,
Is the truth out there?

Dear Bottom,

Do two cats make a dog? Do two Fords make an Oldsmobile?

Unless one of you is willing to be more versatile, you better save your money, because those double headed dildos are expensive!

XOXO

Dear Wilma,

All my life I have had one secret desire: to combine my amazing fashion sense with killer dance moves on stage. You are such a star! Any advice for a ‘girl’ wanting to break into the business?

Sincerely,

Diva to be

Dear Diva,

Your words are right on point! I am a star and lovely to boot!

You need to get out there and get yourself a Drag Mama! A Drag Mama (or mother) is an entertainer who will take you under their wing and show you the ropes. They can also help get you started in obtaining a booking once you’re ready to take the stage.

if you’re truly interested, attend some local shows, make friends with the entertainers, and ask for their advice. I think that you’ll find that most entertainers in our area are friendly, fun and willing to help.

Best of luck!

XOXO

Dear Wilma,

One of the things that your fans know about you is your love for cooking. I consider myself an amateur chef who loves to experiment with new and exciting recipes.

Quite by accident I came across a cook book and bartenders handbook by Paul  ‘Fotie’ Photenhauer. The cookbook is called ‘Natural Harvest: A Collection of Seaman Based Recipes.’ The bartenders book is called, ‘Semenolgy-The Semen Bartender’s Handbook.’ The recipes in the book sound exciting and titillating. Recipes like roasted lamb with good gravy, tiramisu surprise, and an almost White Russian.

My question is this, with all the amazing restaurants opening in Michigan City, do you think we are ready for a seamen based restaurant or at the very least a pop up (no pun intended). To show you the the books that I am referring to are indeed real, I’ve attached pictures and you can also find them on Amazon.com.

Sincerely,
Cooking with Cum

Dear Cooking,

Please get to the nearest psychiatrist and have your head examined.

I don’t know a single person who would want to ingest a recipe made from jizz.
Might I add that “production” could be an issue. With the exception of our Editor, who has time to beat off all day?

For the love of God, please get professional help.

XOXO

Wilma Fingerdo and her group Welcome to the Other Side can be seen entertaining the masses through comedy and song at Mug Shots in Michigan City on March 25th, 2017 starting at 10:00 p.m.

King Cobra the Rise and ‘Rise’ of a Gay Porn ‘Icon.’

Movie poster for King Cobra

For my first movie review for The Beacon I choose the movie about the real life adventures of gay porn ‘legend,’ Sean Paul Lockhart a.k.a. Brent Corrigan, played by actor Garrett Clayton, and how he became Cobra Videos biggest ‘star.’ And let’s face it, out of all the LGBT people in the world who have done great and positive things Brent Corrigan is the most deserving of a bio-pic.

King Cobra stars Christian Slater as Brent’s movie producer/ sugar daddy, Stephen. As with his other movies Slater plays the same part, a poor mans Jack Nicholson, only this time his portrayal is little more creepy and a lot more gay. Molly Ringwald as Stephen’s sister Amy, who despite the fact that Stephen is in his mid-50s, unmarried, has camera equipment in the basement, and half naked twinks running around does not know he’s gay. I’m glad to see since director John Hughes’ death at least some of the members to the ’80s ‘brat pack’ are finding work, even if it is the equivalent of soft core gay porn. And kudos to Christian Slater for going all out in the sex scenes, rumor has it he’s been method acting that role for years.

Alicia Silverstone stars as Brent’s over protective MILF mom Janette. I was ‘clueless’ as to what happened to Silverstone’s once promising career. Now I know, it died. Janette thinks that her 17 year old son accepted a job as a movie studio intern from some guy he met on the internet and allowed him to take a bus from San Diego to Dallas Township Pennsylvania. There has not been a mom this naive since Kitty Menendez.

Rounding out the cast is Keegan Allen as Harlow Cuadra and of course James Franco as Joe Kerekes. Yes the same James Franco that recreated the 40 minutes of lost footage for the controversial Al Pacino Movie Cruising. Cruising is about a cop that has gone deep undercover in New York’s gay leather bar scene of the 1970s. The short film entitled Interior Leather Bar recreated 40 minutes of deleted and lost footage from Cruising. This includes actual sex acts on film. When I saw this I didn’t know if it was art or James Franco’s cry for help. Franco also acted as producer for King Cobra, color me shocked.

Harlow Cuadra is a paid escort, Joe Kerekes is his pimp/lover. As the couple tries to break into the adult film business Keegan develops a very unhealthy infatuation with Brent Corrigan. So unhealthy that Cuadra is constantly comparing himself to Corrigan and obsessing about Corrigan’s ‘rise to fame’ in the gay porn industry. The film starts out leading the audience to the conclusion that Joe Kerekes is somewhat ‘unstable’ but as it turns out by the end of the film we find out the it is Harlow Cuadra who is the one that is truly cray cray.

When Corrigan starts wanting to spend more of his free time playing video games and fucking his on-screen co-stars, who are around his age, than his sugar daddy Steve, things start to get a little tense between the two. Then when Corrigan realizes just how much cash Steve is bringing in and how little of it he is getting for all his ‘hard’ work thing get a lot more tense. Corrigan asks for a ‘raise’ in his percentage as the couple has dinner at a fancy restaurant. Not wanting to seem like a dirty old man that is trying to exploit an 18 year old, Steve tries to buy Corrigan off with a new Rolex watch. When that doesn’t work Corrigan refuses to make anymore films until he gets a raise. As Corrigan is still under contract and as punishment for not doing porn Corrigan is made to clean the bathroom. While Brent is cleaning Steve leaves the suburban home/state of the art porn studio to run an errand and tells Corrigan not to go anywhere. With Steve out of the house Corrigan rebels and stops cleaning the bathroom. He heads into Steve’s business office to rummage through his paper, hard copy files to see exactly how much money is being made off Corrigan’s  movies, it’s a good thing that his financials were not on a password protected hard drive or else Corrigan would not have figured out just how much into six figures that Steve was making on the account of Corrigan’s ‘acting’ ability.

Upon Steve’s arrival home from running errands Corrigan already has his things packed and is going back home to his MILF…um I mean mom. Steve threatens Corrigan, telling him under contract. Corrigan then threatens Steve and tells him that his lied about his age and he is not yet 18 but 17 and that he faked his I. D. After Corrigan gets home he informs the authorities of his age and what he’s been doing for Steve these past few months. Steve’s sister finds out he’s gay and a porn producer. Corrigan’s mother finds out that she raised a ‘whore,’ her words not mine. But if the glass slipper fits….

After the dust settles and after the F. B. I. confiscates all of Steve’s computers and camera equipment, Corrigan finally turns 18 and tries to find work in the porn industry but can’t because Steve took the name ‘Brent Corrigan’ and had it copy written behind Corrigan back. No movie producer would touch him using that name and no one wanted a new unknown kid, they wanted Brent Corrigan. After a few frustrating few weeks of having every reputable gay porn producer in Southern California slamming the door on our hero, Brent calls Steve makes up with him and Steve agrees to release the copy write.

Still looking for fame and work Harlow Cuadra and Joe Kerekes make contact with Corrigan, hoping to bring him into their fledgling porn business. Corrigan informs the couple that Steve still owns the copy write to his name, but things are being worked out the two decide to kill Steve and murder ensues.

King Cobra is released by IFC Midnight and is directed by Justin Kelly based on the book Cobra Killer and stars Garrett Clayton, Keegan Allen, Alicia Silverstone, James Franco, Christian Slater, Molly Ringwald, Sean Grandillo, and Spencer Lofranco and is streaming right now on Netflix. King Cobra is an entertaining movie if you have an hour and half to kill and you want to know whats going on in James Franco’s head at any given time. I give it two and a half poppers out of five.

Conservatives Rally Against Teacher at Plymouth Junior High School

Plymouth, IN-A first year teacher at Lincoln Junior High School is under fire from conservatives for teaching about sexual orientation and gender identity in her 8th grade health class. The lesson,“LGBTQ: Understanding Sexual Orientation and Gender Identities” was supposed to be one on tolerance and acceptance of others and the material is on the list of national standards for 8th graders according to Plymouth Community Schools Superintendent, Daniel Tyree.

Superintendent Tyree went on to add that, “ With the attention that the past two presidents and our governor over the last two years has given to harassment and bullying over sexual orientation and gender identity, students hear the news. By ignoring the topics in schools, we would be doing our students a disservice.” Monica Boyer, President of the Indiana Liberty Coalition disagrees, “It goes way beyond education, it’s actually indoctrination telling student not only they have to accept a lifestyle they have to celebrate it and embrace it.”

The Superintendent indicated that he has received e-mails from ‘concerned’ parents but no complaints from parents directly. “The ones I received on Tuesday night and Wednesday morning were in support of teacher and the principal.” Most of the complaints are coming from conservatives on social media. One user of the Marshall County Conservatives Facebook page had this to say, “I’m so happy that I home school and I can choose what I believe is appropriate for my child to learn.”

The lesson plan consisted of a video and some questions that students answer while watching. Some of the questions that drew outrage were,“What is an LGBTQ ally? What is gender identity? What are the two things you can do to show support for the LGBTQ community? Conservative columnist Todd Starnes accused the teacher of attempting to indoctrinate the students, “Kudos to the Indiana Liberty Coalition for exposing this nefarious scheme.” Then Mr. Starnes went on to ‘plug’ his book “The Deplorables’ guide to Making America Great Again.” Whether Mr. Starnes actually cares about children’s education or if he is only trying to sell his book remains to be scene.

Superintendent Tyree claims that the situation has been blown out of proportion and that the teacher in question did not follow board policy regarding how to address a controversial topic. It is unknown whether the teacher will be disciplined as it is a personnel issue and will not be discussed.

 

LGBT Community Centers Vandalized Across the Nation

Jewish and other marginalized communities have been experiencing an upswing in vandalism in recent months and LGBT communities all over the nation have been no exception.

On March 6, 2017, The Dennis R. Neill Equality Center in Tulsa, Oklahoma was vandalized.  Surveillance video shows a white SUV approach the building around 12:30 a.m. A pellet gun was unloaded into the front to the building severely damaging the entrance, with other businesses nearby suffering minimal damage.

The Dennis R. Neill Equality Center has a 38 year history in Oklahoma and has not reported act of violence or vandalism at its current location in the last twelve years. Toby Jenkins, executive director of the center believes that this is not random act of violence.

Jenkins had this to say, “We’ve been here 38 years and we are very used to dealing with a culture that is not tolerant accepting, or supporting. You also have to ask yourself why did this happen after 12 years? What’s going on in our culture? What’s being said out of the White House? What is happening all over the country where we are targeting individuals and marginalized populations were people feel like it’s all right to drive by and shoot up the Equality Center?”

In Orlando, Florida the window of Orlando Equality was smashed were the agency logo and the ‘Equal Sign’ that symbolizes equal rights for the LGBT community was depicted. The deputy development director Michael Farmer expressed hope that the vandalism was not motivated by anti-LGBT bias. On June 12, 2016, The City of Orlando experienced the worst terrorist attack in U. S. history when Omar Mateen killed 49 people at Pulse, an LGBT nightclub.

Reports of vandalism to LGBT community centers in the last month have also came out of Los Angles and New Jersey. New Jersey senator Cory Booker (D) spoke out against the attack, “I condemn acts of hate against all communities, whether Jewish, Muslim or LGBT, in the strongest possible terms.”

How long the increase in vandalism will go on remains to be seen, but as it stands now there seems to be no end in sight.

 

 

Does HIV Make Me Undateable? Part I

THE ONLY HIV/AIDS STIGMA IS THAT WHICH WE ALLOW.

What you allow is what will continue.

How you would want to be treated if you were HIV positive?

Normally guys don’t intend to hurt those living with HIV. Yet in referring to oneself as “clean” it is logical for me to assume that this means HIV equates to being “dirty”. Now I’m not saying that every HIV negative person has to choose to be sexually intimate with an HIV positive partner and I understand if an HIV negative person chooses not to be with an HIV positive sexual partner based solely on status, just as I understand if an HIV positive person chooses to be only with a partner that is also living with HIV. Still, choosing to use words or phrases that damage one another to highlight our individual preferences can only divide us further. Don’t allow your status control you. There are lots of people out there who are not afraid to date someone who is HIV positive.

I’m always open and upfront disclosing my status. There is a real stigma in being HIV positive, so it’s important to attach a face to the issue. People won’t even talk to you if they know you’re poz. Then you get the guys who have hyper-fetishized HIV. The gay men is small fringe of the gay community refer to getting HIV at a ‘gift’ and these men seek out exposure willingly. So as a practical reality, having HIV does present problems, but there are however, many men and women who are informed of the risks and who love us as we are. For those people that love us our HIV status does not matter.

“Does HIV make me Undateable?” I find too often the answer to this question is yes. I can’t tell you how often I have gotten to know someone and we had made what I thought was a deep ‘connection.’  Yet when things start to get serious and the subject of HIV came up the ‘connection’ I thought we had disappeared. Then the next thing you know I don’t hear from them any more. I often feel if a guy can’t handle this one aspect of me, then he can’t handle the rest of me and that is not okay. Someone who is not mature enough to handle a relationship with me because of my HIV status shows me that they are probably not mature enough to handle a relationship with anyone. I find that it’s not even worth the effort for me to waste my time, energy, and heart!

More often than not guys will tell me if only I was clean. I didn’t know I was dirty. I refuse to let rejection because of my HIV status make me feel that I am not worth being in a relationship.

“You can never learn to be the person you were before AIDS, or even before HIV, but maybe you can find the person who you want to become after it. Your status isn’t a part of your character…” BY: TYLER CURRY, MARCH 3RD, 2016 Op-Ed: Its Time to Let Go of AIDS